Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
