wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
