Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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