I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
This is the high leading the old right now
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
