That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
