The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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