Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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