So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
