yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
