Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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