Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the condom got lost in my hair
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
