My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
