Having a random hookup so left but love u
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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