in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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