I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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