The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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