Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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