so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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