I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
