No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
