My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
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