Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
