This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
