marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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