Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize