I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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