Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
