May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
