dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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