You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
How external is "for external use only"?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
