I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
