Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
