You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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