Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
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i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
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Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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