I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
