you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
