I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
