Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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