It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
