Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
