i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
