omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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