it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Randomize
