i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
