I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
