...so i touched it.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
