We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
