idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...