I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
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If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
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I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut