to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"