Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota

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  (214): you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota http://tfl.nu/qqt8
  Replies (67) Good night (2050) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  you have got to be kidding?

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  (440): why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex. (1-440): you have got to be kidding? http://tfl.nu/stk6
  Replies (52) Good night (683) Bad night (4486)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom

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  (647): Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom http://tfl.nu/rkiv
  Replies (38) Good night (4700) Bad night (922)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.

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  (515): i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move. http://tfl.nu/cgsd
  Replies (22) Good night (910) Bad night (4356)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.

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  (860): I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes. http://tfl.nu/jq79
  Replies (9) Good night (553) Bad night (3518)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.

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  (903): I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better. http://tfl.nu/5s87
  Replies (43) Good night (1416) Bad night (5259)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  How did people poop without Blackberrys?

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Motorola Razers?

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Stone age, man.

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  (902): How did people poop without Blackberrys? (416): Motorola Razers? (902): Stone age, man. http://tfl.nu/a751
  Replies (53) Good night (4242) Bad night (870)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.

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  (412): Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me. http://tfl.nu/z6ig
  Replies (20) Good night (9752) Bad night (1787)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .

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  (419): The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. . http://tfl.nu/zh9v
  Replies (24) Good night (7583) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.

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  (337): Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night. http://tfl.nu/5kyl
  Replies (36) Good night (6747) Bad night (2418)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.

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  (519): He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship. http://tfl.nu/txlk
  Replies (20) Good night (883) Bad night (3339)
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  (909): View more from California

  When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?

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  (909): When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too? http://tfl.nu/ln8u
  Replies (6) Good night (1372) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.

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  (515): Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use. http://tfl.nu/510e
  Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas

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  (407): He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas http://tfl.nu/zvf4
  Replies (10) Good night (335) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.

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  (202): I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever. http://tfl.nu/g05z
  Replies (0) Good night (719) Bad night (216)

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