Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  I'm being pulled over???

  (520): View more from Arizona

  For what!?!?!

  (323): View more from California

  ??? I'm in a cab!!!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): I'm being pulled over??? (520): For what!?!?! (323): ??? I'm in a cab!!!!! http://tfl.nu/d19c
  Replies (8) Good night (779) Bad night (1291)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that? http://tfl.nu/vpzp
  Replies (12) Good night (2552) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me. http://tfl.nu/bzyr
  Replies (49) Good night (845) Bad night (6634)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants. http://tfl.nu/trrn
  Replies (87) Good night (1722) Bad night (20185)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks http://tfl.nu/vee8
  Replies (22) Good night (4593) Bad night (1534)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter. http://tfl.nu/4cll
  Replies (4) Good night (1695) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind" http://tfl.nu/73d5
  Replies (14) Good night (2867) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey" http://tfl.nu/xp9h
  Replies (19) Good night (681) Bad night (2791)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health. http://tfl.nu/8ftn
  Replies (7) Good night (1490) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/j3xl
  Replies (6) Good night (854) Bad night (1216)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed. http://tfl.nu/hmgx
  Replies (10) Good night (499) Bad night (1449)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade http://tfl.nu/kpha
  Replies (4) Good night (976) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in? http://tfl.nu/31ig
  Replies (2) Good night (1094) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals http://tfl.nu/vtga
  Replies (1) Good night (720) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital http://tfl.nu/nh6p
  Replies (8) Good night (1414) Bad night (280)

Randomize