Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.

(1-216): View more from Ohio

It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.

(216): View more from Ohio

He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.

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(216): I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself. (1-216): It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you. (216): He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry. http://tfl.nu/dfyj

Replies (27) Good night (757) Bad night (5291)
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(720): View more from Colorado

So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.

(970): View more from Colorado

well, dont

(720): View more from Colorado

I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.

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(720): So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face. (970): well, dont (720): I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it. http://tfl.nu/lbqb

Replies (32) Good night (6350) Bad night (979)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.

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(540): I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/5p64

Replies (9) Good night (4557) Bad night (1110)
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(817): View more from Texas

Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.

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(817): Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was. http://tfl.nu/0op6

Replies (6) Good night (1059) Bad night (3996)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...

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(203): Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store... http://tfl.nu/b4g4

Replies (4) Good night (2159) Bad night (920)
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(618): View more from Illinois

You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes

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(618): You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes http://tfl.nu/5pp7

Replies (6) Good night (2873) Bad night (1120)
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(510): View more from California

He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?

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(510): He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast? http://tfl.nu/9c24

Replies (34) Good night (3878) Bad night (1183)
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(937): View more from Ohio

The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.

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(937): The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it. http://tfl.nu/hbg0

Replies (9) Good night (2607) Bad night (974)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.

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(832): Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something. http://tfl.nu/xkf6

Replies (5) Good night (2240) Bad night (773)
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(845): View more from New York

officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.

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(845): officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand. http://tfl.nu/8nd1

Replies (7) Good night (1604) Bad night (990)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.

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(+44): He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut. http://tfl.nu/kqfa

Replies (20) Good night (2084) Bad night (861)
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(914): View more from New York

But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.

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(914): But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level. http://tfl.nu/ncka

Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (903)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single

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(615): Vodka tonic time....wish me luck! (1-615): Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single http://tfl.nu/b04m

Replies (3) Good night (737) Bad night (799)
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(805): View more from California

Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours

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(805): Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours http://tfl.nu/47o4

Replies (0) Good night (574) Bad night (333)
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(317): View more from Indiana

So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.

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(317): So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day. http://tfl.nu/ljj0

Replies (3) Good night (284) Bad night (552)

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