bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.