And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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