Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job

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  (913): the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job http://tfl.nu/faar
  Replies (24) Good night (6708) Bad night (612)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.

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  (610): As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet. http://tfl.nu/swmp
  Replies (18) Good night (10054) Bad night (986)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...

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  (208): I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows... http://tfl.nu/dubx
  Replies (262) Good night (2150) Bad night (40616)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking

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  (917): You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking http://tfl.nu/a0v5
  Replies (11) Good night (3662) Bad night (1114)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.

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  (720): You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset. http://tfl.nu/s72o
  Replies (7) Good night (3991) Bad night (1052)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.

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  (215): he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon. http://tfl.nu/6d9i
  Replies (13) Good night (7038) Bad night (1093)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning

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  (215): he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning http://tfl.nu/kfu4
  Replies (4) Good night (981) Bad night (2601)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive

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  (306): I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive http://tfl.nu/z4k9
  Replies (6) Good night (2897) Bad night (756)
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  (619): View more from California

  That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.

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  (619): That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions. http://tfl.nu/77kt
  Replies (2) Good night (1464) Bad night (483)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people

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  (406): I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people http://tfl.nu/t3r3
  Replies (7) Good night (955) Bad night (493)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man

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  (616): Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man http://tfl.nu/3epz
  Replies (6) Good night (485) Bad night (1118)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  And then someone hit me with a pool cue

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  (604): I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud. (604): And then someone hit me with a pool cue http://tfl.nu/5hgm
  Replies (4) Good night (1047) Bad night (400)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.

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  (512): If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic. http://tfl.nu/ogiy
  Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (255)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.

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  (207): If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too. http://tfl.nu/gosa
  Replies (0) Good night (408) Bad night (725)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)

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  (254): We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :) http://tfl.nu/s9j9
  Replies (8) Good night (726) Bad night (300)

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