Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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