what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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