But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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