I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
