super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
