Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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