IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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