The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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